Arf! Mhisani Fox's Thoughts..

Updating again! *YIP*
Whats happened since I last update.. Hmm well i've applied for numerous jobs and finally had an interview with M&S who said I passed it... However. I got a letter in the post a few days after the interview to tell me they had no vacancies to offer at the moment. So that irritated me somewhat. On the plus side I am on their books as able to start as soon as they have something to offer me.

Other than job applications i've been doing a fair bit of maintenace to hosting services. Simbaspaws.org has completely moved and is now on a lot better terms. Pridelands.net is now on a 64bit setup which is handy but can be a pain getting some 32bit programs to work on it.

I'll also be 26 on the 25th August and I'll be having Anthropuppy and Zion here in my one room in the evening to travel with me to Eurofurence 14. What a few days it will be.. 25th Birthday. crack of dawn 26th.. fly out to Germany.. and won't be returning till the 1st of September in the evening. Really looking forward to it. Will give me the refresh I so really need. I am due to hold a discussion group at EF at Midday on Friday on plushies.. If you like a round table on thoughts on plushies.. IE maintainence tips, what types do you like and so on as it seems most conventions seem to lack any kind of plushie event. I am nervous about it but i'm sure it will be a lot better when actually doing it. Anthropuppy will also be helping me so it's not all on my shoulders. Looking forward to relaxing there! Don't be afraid to give a fox a hug :)

Single *sighs* Less said about that and all :) One day..

So all in all i've been okay. I've got something to look forward to and hopefully a job within not too long!

I can't really think of anything else to put!
Other than my number if you need to get me 07941220861 or +447941220861
Will update after EF.

Take care everyone

Hello its once again time for Mhisani to pull his paw finger out!

It's been a long time since I last updated my journal so lets go..

I'm still living in the shared house that I moved to. It's been pretty much okay although I reallly miss having someone around that has similar interests to myself. Just a group of random people I don't seem to connect with and quite frankly they don't appear to want to know anyway. But other than the odd bit of standard house drama it's been okay.

I'm still job hunting and i'm trying my hardest not to be forced into the same crappy retail jobs. Hopefully I will find something soon as financially it's very much shaky.

Fox?!
Yes, I did the dirty. I change to a grey fox.. I realised that... Whilst I have many happy memories from my "lion days" I've realised that my inspiration for furry was brought on by "The Lion King" and in a sense.. my furry character hid behind Simba in a sense. But.. over the last year or so i've realised that i've developed and that I am beginning to express much more of an indivuality. And this decision has not been made lightly. This has been swimming in my head since last year and.. it feels right.. deep.. truely reflective of how I feel inside.. I'm not a fan of constant changes of character however.. I guess it takes time sometimes for people to find themselves.. nearly eight years however. *oi* ^_^ And I tell you one thing.. "I ain't arf" happy I did it. Groan time :)

Been to a couple of meets including the last Liverpool meet where I escorted Zion Fox around and we had a fantastic time. Even the staff of the hotel grooming our plushies..
Picture here!

New tail picture in the paragraph below.. New con badge:
Mhisani Badge
Mhisani Icon
First artist is Werewolfsense on FA and the second is Zanity on Furaffinity. Go watch and support them!

On the love life front I was approached by someone who appeared to be extremely happy with me and visited me however proceeded to use my home as a 24/7 internet/music/RP cafe and ignored me mostly. Which incredibly unpleasant and then left me upon departure and ate me out of house and home.


So I'm still single.. I just want someone to love, someone to hold. I know i'm not exactly attractive.. see: http://snugglefox.net/~mhisani/mhispics/mhisanirl.JPG but i'm so very loyal and don't have a huge lists of wants from a partner. I've been told I have a lot of love to give. Looking back over the last few years of my love life. There are things I wish had gone different and things that I realised held me back and stopped me accepting a mateship. I change phyiscally when I have a partner.. I become empowered.. Gives me that energy to tackle the world. I don't want to be a nomadic fox forever..

Feel free to leave a comment if I've missed anything or you want to know anything. Look forward to hearing from some of my friends from afar :)

Thanks for reading.

An update! Its been a while but here goes...
Well lets go back to the end of November. Laini was picked up at the end of November and taken back to Scotland where hopefully things will be better for him.. It hasn't helped that our landlord give us notice wanting the property back at the end of January.Well it's for the best...

Tesco... I no longer work for them I was removed from the staff at the end of December after violating a final written warning twice and having two months off with breathing issues just before Christmas wasn't going to look good.I know for a fact I would have been dismissed anyway and to put it lightly I had a lot to deal with at home. But I'm not too worried.After all I did want out of there and I couldn't seem to fin the will power. "Blessing in disguise" i've come to call it. It was bad timing though to lose my job as I was looking for somewhere to live. Nevertheless I did find a place at the end of December and Anthropuppy helped me move which was extremely wonderful. This early move gave me sometime to work on the old place before having to hand it back.Although I've worked very hard along with my mother on that place to bring things up to scratch and repair things to a fit state it seems the landlord doesn't agree and is having a lot of repairs done.And if i'm honest the value of the repairs could be from "eep" to "@#$%^&" so we will have to see.The land lord said he gave notice on the propery because he wanted to sell it..However I have already found it up for rent again and queried it. His excuse was that the market wasn't right so he has re-let it. Still feels like mouldy rice pudding...not a nice thing to hear..

Anyhow I now live in a shared house which was about all I could hope for on my budget admitidly i'm finding this houseshare quite nice. They keep themselves to themselves and are nice enough so I rarely see anyone. And I don't think the others in the house have english as their first language but do speak fantastic english. This in one respect is good as if im heard on the phone they aren't likely to understand some of the furry jargon..I hope :p. So i'm just about settled and now beginning to look for a new job...

Temba!
I also just after I moved in had a friend over a good friend then the tinman... Oops sorry that's the wrong Oz... Yes I had a wonderful lionbear over from Australia we've known each other online for a long time and it's been a long wait since we've tried to arrange to meet in previous years but things have always got in the way.. I have to say I really enjoyed the company and I hope to see him again. We did a lot of lounging around just chilling and watching DVDs and whatnot. Also one morning i'm sure we spent nearly an ur and a half looking for a local café.. Which turned out to be called 'get stuffed' nice!
The most noteable event of his visit was that we shot off to Shepreth wildlife park which is in a small village just outside Cambridge. A local sorta zoo come wildlife park. It was wonderful it was so quiet and I have some nice memories (maybe pics soon) Tigers,Lynxs,Otters (aww) and two very tame wolves who you could arrange for a price to go in with a keeper and handle them.Infact on their website there is a picture of a chap having a little kiss with one of them. Grr! There were a lot of animals there and the prarie dogs cracked me up they are very cute and fun to watch. Temba won't forget the little monkey he met behind glass who loved Temba so much that he jumped at the glass as if to attack him.hehe all fun. But something that money couldn't by was I got to see raccoons for the first time AWWW... They were all snuggled up together in their den.. I won't forget that.. I enjoyed that day and Tembas visit immensly...

Meets!
RBW had a fantastic time there. I really really enjoyed the treasure hunt I was a good team bonding experience. Kage even in one of his ranoms acts of madness point at me and shouted "hey look its winston churchill" oh how random... A nice con which I really enjoyed.

Bristol Meeting.
I went to the Bristol meet a couple of weeks ago which was a lot of fun (yay fo cheap as chips coach tickets) I even tried ice skating which really hurt my paws! But I think that was down to the boots.I managed to not fall over and towards the end of my time thre I just about managed to let go of the side and move a little tiny bit.Considering I've never skated anything I don't think I did badly. I stayed at Anthropuppys place until the middle of the week before heading off was a nice weekend planed on a few hours notice.

London Meet 26th Jan
I was a bit of a late arriver at this meet and waited at Kings Cross to give Anthropuppy a boxh I no longer wished to keep. I got there and saw some fursuiters and at one point I had to almost put furs in a queue for hugs. Not that i'm complaining absolutely not. A nice relaxing time. Kyotas was there yay. Got to hug him in my lap for at least two hours.I also met Jasper who is also great. Even went for a meal with them both on saturday night which I really enjoyed.. And I big thankyou to Kyotas who paid my travelcard for Sunday as they wanted to see me.yay... Had a nice time again. Looked around Cyberdog with Kyotas and Jasper. Kyo got a sleeveless shirt and a shirt with a music responding equaliser on it. Weird but it sorta works for him :) then the obligatory Hamleys plush visit happened. I ended up with a sitting Arctic Fox with once again a big big big thankyou to Kyotas. Was fantastic to spend the day with just those two. I got home about 730pm which isn't too bad at all...

A big thankyou to Jasper and Kyotas.

Fursona Wierdness..
I *might* be considering a fursona change. Whilst I normally frown upon it myself... Especially with those who seem to change dependant on their mood this week... No this is a lot deeper. I have been a leo for getting eight years and my insiration it has to say was Simba from the Lion King and I've been going through a lot of late personal development in the last few years and I might be thinking that i've been in Simbas shadow for too long... Nothing is confirmed at the moment as it is all running through my head but there might be a grey vulpes vulpes around soon. It's time for me to express how I feel inside and it's been on my mind for a long time. As I say nothing is confirmed wish the thoughts would settle in my mind. I hope those of you that know me will support me IF I do change. I'll post more when I know more.

Just another thankyou to Zion for the gift of a home on secondlife and being an absolutely fantastic friend. Thankyou for your great company also on SL.

And lastly on health issues I am waiting to be referred to the hospital to llook at my nose and chest again and hopefully tame the asthma I have been.

Also because I felt like it I now have a rainbow fox tail and a rainbow lion tail as they are so cute and will be fantastic at any party.pics to follow..

Well that I think brings that everything up to date. Feel free to ask anything in IM and to those who asked if they can friend me.you can.

Take care all
-Mhisani
-Confused fox / kitty

I haven't updated in a long time! Well here goes!
In September I went to Eurofurence and my world did I have good time. Something I really needed! So many fursuits so many kind people. I even came home with a beautiful fox plushie in the end and a few pieces of art. Fantastic and I want to thank those that were there! I love EF! Photos @ http://media-1.furcon.de/Eurofurence/ef13/Mhisani/tn

Since EF I have since gotten ill with asthma issues,and chest pain. Causing my asthma to be out of control. I am all sorts of treatments and things. Even been to the hospital for xrays and such. Next week I have to go for a lung function test. Hopefully it will be under control soon so I dont have to use gallons of inhalers and get rushed to a nebuliser machine to keep my breating. It's a very scary experience when you try to breath and it feels like your lungs are sealed shut.. So I have been very scared of things getting any worse.Hopefully things will get better. So have been off work for a while now.. So it's quite possibly upon my return I may lose my job. I am not too worried since it has been nearly 6 years with Tesco. Blessing in disguise if it happens I will just get out there and find another job as soon as possible.

Laini has since been sacked from Tesco for notification reasons and this has thrown things up in the air also. However me and him don't appear to see eye to eye anymore. I don't hate him at all. It's just I guess he has changed. And i'm extremely worried for his wellbeing since he has been very unhappy and very difficult to live with. If your reading this Laini it's not mean to be insultitive. We've had some err "near misses" when it comes to being attacked in my home. I put all this down to the situation but I am realising a bigger issue. And quite frankly I've had enough. It's time for me to leave Laini to his own devices. His parents are very worried about him and so am I but he wont talk to them... I guess Laini has a lot on his mind. But I am scared to live here. And I can't sit around and take that and watch him fester in his problems when everyone around him tries their best to help him out. Gut feeling tells me he _wants_ to sit at home all day everyday and not have a job/income anything. I feel bad in a sense because I feel he might have wasted a chance to get a better job/situation here in Cambridge. I mean sure it's hard. I know that. Sure it's expensive. I really know that. but where he is from in Scotland is somewhat remote and job oppurtunities are few and far between. But there is only so much I can take. And I wont watch it happen any longer or fear my well being or take the secrecy. His parents called me today and actually said they would come down to collect him a week on Monday with his belongings. In a sense I guess it is for the best as i can't live in limbo. I have told Laini but he seems to not be saying a word to me at home anymore. Sorry Laini no offence I've given you the support I can. But I've publically had enough. I honestly do wish you all the best and suggest you take this opportunity to return to your parents where they can support you. I can't give anymore. I wish you well...
Guess I got to find somewhere to live or someone to share with me in Cambridge.. hmm.. this should be.. interesting..with finances being so poor and so forth..joy..


I have also met Adego a wonderful fox. Unfortunately it didn't become a relationship but! he is an awesome chap. He is kind caring and a truly wonderful friend. Look him up some of you. I'm proud to know him as a new close friend! He got me an early xmas present a Steiff cuddly Raccoon i like Raccoon and this plushie certainly helps!



Other things..

There will be a big hosting change for pridelands.net and simbaspaws.org as they will be migrated to a new system soon. The new system is online but requires a lot of work to move everything over smoothly. Expect downtime and please at this time make a backup of your data. I will also do the same for the system. A good failsafe. This update should help increase services and make it easier to manage simbaspaws services specifically. pridelands.net users should notice improved speeds. With ping times from Europe at 83ms or so and from the states as little as 4ms (tested from exisiting pridelands.net machine in New York.
Long Live Simbaspaws / Pridelands.

So in general I'm feeling rather raw but I am at least vaguely calmed by closure of something that has been upsetting me for too long.
On the upside improved pridelands/simbaspaws connectivity and EF memories..

Got to keep smiling *whimper* it's hard...

And as cheesy as it sound for my friends out there. Thankyou....

Well been off with a flu cold thing for a while. Got to watch my breathing as my lung capacity isnt so good. So been home for quite a number of days. Other than that hoping to change my job soon. Thats about it. And been spending a little time on SL trying to chill out.. I dont feel so well tonight so i wont be up much longer. I cant breath as well as i should be able to do. I got dizzyness which is horrible and i generally feel very unwell... Ah well.

Me relaxing on SL :)
http://wuffie.org/~mhisani/mhisslrelax.jpg

You scored as The all-round cute gay guy, YOu are a cute guy who many would die to be with..........lucky!! </td> The all-round cute gay guy 60% A Big Bear 40% Raging Queer 40% Straight Acting 30% Straight 20% Straight Queer Basher 0% S + M guy 0% What type of Gay are YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

I'm back from Eurofurence and I have to say I had a wonderful time. Eurofurence makes me proud to be a furry.. I'll write a report when i am recovered..
but to Cheetah and all the crew and SIG organisers.. thankyou for a wonderful time.. I am a sponsor for a reason..

But for the mean time..

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=jMyO9wqpqLI
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=gkFK0E5uKXI
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=pDK725fi3oo

-Mhisani
-Trying to get over post con depression

What a mad year!

Tommorow Saturday 25th August is my 25th Birthday. And what a rolercoaster years its been from moving to a new home to going to EF and a whole lot of home trials and tribulations all madness..

It's been wonderful to be part of the furry community for another year.For all furry problems we have I am proud to be one..

Excuse the randomness tonight..

Heres to a another year..

25!

So whats new.. Well not a lot other than putting pridelands.net on a content management system so I can actually update it. Slowly making progress.. Looks a lot better I think I was sick of the poor web design..

Also all paid up for eurofurence.. Whee. As previous years if you are travelling to stansted the day before and travelling back the day after I can offer crash space just get in contact.
Really starting to get quite excited about it.

Work is ok but its really quite droll. One day i'll break out of it..

Back pain is a lot better! Also since I stopped doing the wednesday I have felt a lot better in myself, I generally feel a lot more with it. Also my back pain is pretty much gone.. woo

Not a lot exciting to tell but then again at least i'm checking in..

Well things are a lot better now.

We have now secured another years tenancy on this place finally which has calmed me down quite a lot. *phew*

I have changed my hours at work, I no longer work wednesdays so that it will help with my sickness level. I think that place really runs me down.

I am experiencing quite a lot of recurring syatic back bain as of late at times its very disabilitating hoping it will calm soon. It's from my back injury last year at work. It died away and came back.

Out house bunny "Humbug" now lives outside where she should be. She seems happy enough too! I will get a camera in there someday soon.

So all in all not to bad, just got some financial things to sort out but other than that and my back I guess I am pretty good.

Ever feel that you've ruined everything without meaning to? Thats how I feel today. I offered Laini the chance to move down to Cambridge with me away from the remote town he came from.. I mean sure we didn't work out but I thought at least it would put him in a place where he had the opportunity to change jobs and such. But Tesco doesn't pay fantasticly and it seems this fact is eating Laini up. I have done my best to make him comfortable and hope that he has at least had some good time down here. Although now I fear he will leave and go back to Connel Scotland to ease his money and go to university at least I think thats what he will do. So I feel terrible.. Did I do the right thing offering him to come down? Or did I ruin his life? *sighs* Where does this leave me? Scared... I encourage Laini to do whatever he wants to do with regard to his future but.. I don't want to live alone in a shared house. But I guess its inevitable. Laini if you are reading this i'm sorry. I needed somewhere to let out how I feel after seeing you like you were in the kitchen this morning I couldn't hold it in anymore. If you want to leave I won't try to stop you.

*mewl..*

Other things that are happening.. Working for Tesco.. I might not be for much longer. I had a pretty rough winter where I fell ill alot and as such work is close to firing me. I'm in a investigation at the moment which has gone on for over a month and i'm having blood tests and what not to see what I can do to find the cause of it although I think its just winter bugs getting to me every year but we need to work out how to stop it. Although work are not very tolerant of this and want access to my medical records in order to "see if things will improve" which I highly doubt they'll have this opinion. So I'm hanging by a wire.

My tenancy ends on 23/6 I don't know if i'll have anyone to live with and i don't know what work will do.

Erf. I really need something to cheer me up or somewhere to go for a few days or something.

I do feel as if I am crippling everything I ever become associated with.

I'm sorry.

Ever feel you are doing as much as you can to sort out a situation to make life enjoyable for those you care for and then feel like you shouldn't have bothered. Thats how I feel right now. I have spent all night trying to sort out my housing situation and now and devised a vague plan to recover from the end of tenancy.

I won't go into detail at the moment. But I feel dreadful now.

Things are on the way down down down..

Oh jeese, I spoke too soon. Just got a letter to give notice of our tenancy to end :(

Not a lot been happening just working. Just a quick update really. I am alive things are okay!

Not a lot other than a bit of sickness ( a bug going round ) has happened since i last posted. Work not too pleased with my absence but oh well. Not a lot I can do about that. Doing everything I can to stop getting ill. Waiting for a referral to hospital for my nose (as i cant breath through my nose).

Laini doesn't seem very happy here at the moment and it's taking its toll on me. Why do I care so much about everyone. It's not my place to say whats on his mind but its difficult to tell how to help him or whether I can at all. Perhaps he will want to move out.. Which means I don't know what will happen to my accommadation status. I can but try to help him think.I do hope he feels better soon as for some reason its stressing me out worrying about him and the future like this.


On the upside.. Isn't it strange? Just when you think things are on a real downer something comes along and raises your hopes. Or in my case "someone". I'm really quite interested in this fur. He just came out of no where and seems to be able to tolerate me. Well at least on the phone for hour after hour and knows all my bizarre ins and outs and is still not phased. Think I will go see him soon and see how it goes. I got to admit... it feels right..

Happy Valentines Day everyone.

Should I be worried about logging into the household bills account? Trying to view my balances gives me..
( Read more... )

Hi all, so whats happened since i last updated? well i've been jolly work work working, Had a rough time with my asthma although now I seem to be in control of it. Had a pretty nice christmas and more jolly work. Had a bit of a scare the other day on my way to work on my bike a van knocked me right off and i banged my head! I was dizzy and all over the place after the hospital checked my out they basically made me rest and I recovered fine and now back at work.

Whats going on in my head? hmm well.. Keep thinking about getting a better job!

toodles!

Whats there to tell people.. Well I been signed off work because of asthma got to go doctors tommorow for another appointment. been off since last tuesday hope to get it completely sorted then..

Other than that nothing really other than just not feeling comfortable in general

Update time I guess..

What happened.. Well yesterday I heard that hopefully we should be having a new gas fire fitted on friday. I really do hope it happens as its too expensive to heat with electricity, The clocks have gone back and it feels quite a lot different in the evenings now. I am also feeling very tired for the last few days and by tired I mean unable to sit at the computer or sit and watch tv for example yesterday I got home from work about 18:30 by about 21:30 I was in bed.. slept till my alarm for work this morning about 7:15.. Still feeling so tired today but it has eased a little bit.

Work is burning me out just spent today trying to deal with delivery left over from the night crew also dealing with being called to checkouts every five mins and trying to maintain the halloween seasonal aisle. And tommorow i believe we are changing the aisle to christmas.. ERF

Fun fun fun..